How to Get Low Back Pain

ladder fallIf you haven’t had mechanical back pain for a while and want to enjoy the excruciating benefits, try participating in one or more activities from the following categories:

1. Traumatic injuries
Some effective ways to create low back pain include slipping on icy sidewalks, falling down stairs, and other similar activities. Falling off ladders is a popular activity that you can do year-round, inside or outside. Aggressive sports, especially those involving a sudden impact or significant force work well too. Try hockey, football or rugby, but other sports such as basketball, figure skating and soccer will also get the job done. Vehicle collisions can produce significant low back pain, but may include other unwanted injuries as well, so you may want to avoid this method.

2. Repetitive strain
Repetitive strain injuries are caused by many small movements that eventually accumulate into significant damage. There are thousands of ways to participate in this form of injury. Try vacuuming or gardening, lifting toddlers, or shoveling snow. But don’t lift or push or shovel anything too heavy, or you will revert to the trauma category.  Instead, lift, push or shovel very small loads, and do it over and over and over again for a prolonged period. You may already have a job that is well suited for this category! Ask your employer about tasks involving bending, twisting and lifting – especially if you can repeat the task several hundred times per day. You’ll know that you have done it right when you suddenly get back pain after something simple like putting on your socks in the morning.

3. Spinal degeneration
Finally, you can create some high quality back pain through degeneration.  Unfortunately, this category is a little harder to do on purpose.  It usually involves accumulated years of participation in the repetitive strain category so that your joints begin to wear out.  Genetics are important for this category, so make sure that you choose parents who have had long term degenerative back conditions. You can also develop appropriate weaknesses through participating in the traumatic injuries category. Again, you will usually have to wait for several years for the degeneration to really set in, but with some perseverance, you can create debilitating pain which will last into your senior years.

Oh, and if you want the back pain to stay – so you can really enjoy it – do NOT go to a chiropractor.
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